


eternal

by tototooru



Series: ANGELS & DEMONS [2]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Guardian Angels, Angel/Human Relationships, Angst, Character Death, Fluff, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Unrequited Love, reviving from death, short chapters but quick updates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-11
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2018-11-12 22:50:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 10,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11171739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tototooru/pseuds/tototooru
Summary: changkyun was probably cursed for having to be the guardian angel of a reckless person. but he still loved him no matter what.





	1. Chapter 1

changkyun rolled his eyes as his phone rang. there was only one person who could be calling him, especially at a time like that, and he definitely didn't want to deal with him.

he picked up anyways since he didn't know what he could expect. there could be some serious problem for all he knew.

"hello, lim changkyun on the phone, guardian angel by day and someone who wants to get some rest at night, what's your problem?" he quickly spoke in a joking manner, purposefully trying to sound as irritated as possible.

" _hi, lee jooheon speaking,_ " the other responded the same way, " _i've always wondered - if you are an angel, why do you have a phone?_ "

"it's 21st century, sweetheart." a smile tugged at the angel's lips. "did you call me just to ask me that?"

" _no_."

the line went silent for a while. changkyun heard jooheon shifting a bit. he was probably in bed, supposedly going to sleep soon.

" _i just miss you a lot,_ " jooheon suddenly said. " _i haven't seen you in a while. i always expect that you would pop out of nowhere but that doesn't happen_ ," he let out an airy chuckle to not sound as upset as he was.

the other pressed his lips in a thin line. he really wanted to be rude and sound like he didn't care, but he actually got worried by jooheon's shaky voice. it was just that the human was way too used to his angel's presence. "you haven't gotten into any trouble for me to appear," he explained.

" _please, come over. i can't sleep_."

"jooheon, i can't do that. it's the rules."

" _just for one night. please._ "

changkyun unexpectedly hung up. he was having none of this. he knew what jooheon's " _one night_ " meant. because it all started with one night and then it continued the next night, too, and the one after that, and so on.

as someone who was trying to stay as far away from his human as possible (and even made up rules that sounded believable enough, just so he wasn't around him), the angel found it really difficult when jooheon called him, telling him he needed him.

 _fuck it_ , he thought. he loved being with jooheon outside of "work".

he was in the other's house in almost no time.  
jooheon was a bit surprised as he saw him along with his soft white glow.

"i thought you weren't going to come," jooheon mumbled.

"i really wasn't going to." changkyun lied down on the bed next to the other, trying to not get his wings in the way.

"there is another thing that i have always wondered."

"what?"

"how do you manage to get yourself comfortable with those wings?" jooheon reached out, running his fingers against the soft white and grey feathers on one of changkyun's, slightly torn at places, wings.

changkyun giggled. "you don't. it's just that we grow up with them and kind of get used to it in our early years. they're a burden and sometimes i wish they were gone, honestly."

"for fifteen years they've grown so much," jooheon smiled.

"you've grown, too," changkyun smiled back, cupping the other's cheek. "i remember when you were five and i scared the life out of you just because i decided to show up for the first time."

jooheon laughed. "you still scare me a lot."

"shut up, you love me." changkyun playfully hit jooheon on the shoulder

"i have no other choice."

when they stopped giggling, changkyun put the other to sleep, gently stroking his arm or running his fingers through his blonde hair.

then he was gone, leaving jooheon all alone. it was better for him that way, changkyun believed.


	2. Chapter 2

"hey," jooheon's soft voice sounded, making changkyun tremble a bit. "why did you leave?"

"i..." changkyun bit on his lower lip as he was trying to think of something. he held his phone tighter and brought his knees up to his chest. "i'm sorry, i had work."

"you are not being honest, changkyun. i can feel it in your voice."

changkyun's gaze fell down to the sheets of the bed and the way folds were forming from under his feet. for a moment his mind went elsewhere as he was focused on one spot.

"hello?" jooheon's voice sounded again, "waking" changkyun up from his trance.

"i have to go," the angel said before quickly hanging up.

he threw his phone aside with a sigh. then he finally let his head fall on the pillow. he was staring at the white ceiling for a while.

he rubbed his eyes with his hands, and sighed again. "i can't do this anymore," he cried out.

jooheon kept calling until changkyun got tired and got up again, putting his phone on silent mode.

he was _exhausted_. lately he had been thinking if he should give up on jooheon. he could just transfer to another human and leave jooheon all alone.

but how could he?

he was so in love with jooheon. he was the most perfect human being changkyun had ever gotten close to. even though his personality was nothing near to perfect. but his looks sure did cover up for it.

_lee jooheon was a bad person._

and that was one of the reasons changkyun was so tired of him and dealing with him.

every time he protected jooheon from something, new scars and bruises were appearing on his body because he was his shield and as a shield he had to do a good job.

that was the whole point of being a guardian angel, after all. get hurt so the person you look after doesn't.

only if jooheon knew how much he was hurting changkyun. only if he knew how much trouble he's caused with every near death experience he had ever had.

he was always concerned for the new wounds appearing on random places over changkyun's body. but how was changkyun supposed to tell him that all of this was his fault?

it was such an easy thing to do. yet changkyun couldn't do it because he didn't want to limit jooheon from what he liked doing.

knowing jooheon's shitty luck, changkyun assumed that he was going to live much longer than him.

the angel was slowly dying. one of his wings was almost completely torn off already.

he couldn't do anything about his wounds. they were just getting more and more, sometimes for no reason at all.

that was one of the signs. jooheon was going to be left without a guardian angel soon.

and only if he kept himself distanced from the human maybe, just maybe, he was going to live for a bit longer.

he was going to admire jooheon's face from afar and hope that he didn't do anything stupid.

but he also felt bad. because he wanted to spend his time with jooheon.

he didn't want to be surrounded by other guardian angels when he was dying. he really wanted to be in the arms of the one he loved.

after it was already more than obvious that he couldn't find a comfortable position to lie in and that he couldn't sleep, he sat up again, taking his phone.

jooheon picked up almost immediately after changkyun dialed his number.

"do you want to spend the day together?" the angel asked with a shaky voice, biting on his lower lip.

"of course i do."


	3. Chapter 3

jooheon got a bit startled as he felt changkyun hugging him from behind. but the second he was enveloped in the angel's warmth, he couldn't be happier.

"why do you always decide to appear out of nowhere?" jooheon chuckled. "can't you just walk through the door at least once?"

"walking through the door is _human_ and _not_ fun." changkyun pressed his forehead against jooheon's nape, humming quietly. "you smell nice," he said.

"i showered around an hour ago," jooheon smiled, turning to changkyun. he placed his hands on the shorter's shoulders. "what are your plans for today?"

the angel shrugged. for a moment he got way too distracted by jooheon's plump lips. their shape had always reminded of a heart and they looked so soft. he wondered how would they feel against his own lips.

kissing jooheon currently sounded like one of his "wildest" dreams. and it was pretty much impossible.

unlike relationships between two angels, a relationship between a human and an angel was allowed. changkyun had no idea how and why, but it was. yet he didn't want to get involved with any of that.

he had to forcefully stop his train of thought, reminding himself that he had to answer the question soon before it started looking too weird and jooheon actually realized why was he quiet for so long.

"we could stay in," changkyun suggested. "i'm not really in the mood to go outside right now."

"when are you in the mood for that?" the blond giggled, brushing his thumbs against changkyun's cheekbones before squishing his cheeks and pulling him even closer to himself. changkyun let out a chuckle, holding onto jooheon's wrists.

when it became too awkward for changkyun, he pulled away from the human's grip, walking towards his bedroom.

jooheon followed him with a smile tugging at the edges of his lips. he adored how gracefully was changkyun moving, his hips swaying so slowly and firmly.

"changkyun," jooheon called as they were still walking.

"what?" changkyun suddenly stopped and turned to the taller.

"your legs look great in those pants," jooheon complimented with a grin that grew even wider as he saw how rosy changkyun's cheeks got. "but when are those shorts from last summer making a comeback?"

the shorter only mumbled something under his nose before turning again and heading to the bedroom. he made himself comfortable on the quite familiar bed, snuggling under the duvets and waiting for jooheon.

"seriously though, why do you prefer staying here than going out?" jooheon asked as he made his way on the bed next to changkyun

"i prefer being alone with you." changkyun shifted a little so he was facing jooheon. he started caressing jooheon's cheek with his fingers, looking at him with his eyes full of love.

he wondered if jooheon really was oblivious to his love. not only wondered but also hoped.

"we could be alone outside, too." jooheon wrapped an arm around changkyun's waist. "we never find anything interesting to do here. it's so boring."

"are you trying to tell me that you're bored when we're cuddling?" the angel giggled.

"that's the only thing we ever do," jooheon pouted. "except for when you're scolding me."

"well if you weren't doing so many stupid things, everything would probably be different."

jooheon lightly brushed the tip of his nose against changkyun's, his smile still curved on his lips. "i will fix my mistake."

 _liar_.


	4. Chapter 4

of course jooheon lied. even he himself knew that. and he was more than aware that changkyun knew, too, yet he kept on lying as if it was nothing.

he wanted to try being a better person for changkyun. but he wasn't really ready to let go of the way he lived and try out a new, probably boring, lifestyle. after all, he had no idea how much that affected changkyun. he didn't know how much it hurt him and how tired he was getting back to his room even though he was pretending to be strong the whole time he was around jooheon. nobody told him changkyun was dying.

after they spent the whole day together and changkyun decided to leave, jooheon went out to drink with friends of his. that obviously didn't end well.

or at least it didn't end well for changkyun. jooheon didn't care when he got into fights. he never avoided a fight and he was never giving up either, he was just fighting until he couldn't stand anymore.

there were two impossible things for jooheon, changkyun had realized - making him shut up and making him give up from fighting. as if it was in his blood to start a fight no matter where he went. he just didn't know when to close his mouth and keep quiet and changkyun really hated him for that. 

on the other hand, jooheon found that as a really good quality of his because "not many people have the guts to voice out what they think". it was true, but did that really mean that he had to start fights about it? no. definitely not.

yet he did. and he always ended up bleeding and hurting to a point that it didn't matter who won the fight. though it was always him.

changkyun always watched him from a corner, ready to do whatever he could when things got too ugly. his friend's guardian angel had apparently died long ago (not a surprise really). jooheon was lucky that changkyun was there to "support" him during his fights because if he wasn't, jooheon would never win.

"why did you do this?" changkyun asked as he was sitting at the edge of the bathtub, watching as jooheon was washing away all the blood from his hands.

"leave me be," jooheon muttered.

"it hurts me to watch you like that." only if _watching_ was the problem that it hurt him. his life would've been so much easier. he wondered if he was going to care less about jooheon if his life wasn't affected by the human's actions. he wouldn't depend on him that much.

after jooheon was done cleaning his wounds, he turned to changkyun. "move away," he said, tilting his head towards the bathtub that was full of steaming hot water.

changkyun moved, leaving some space for jooheon to get undressed and sit in the tub. he then sat down on the tiles next to the bathtub, resting his head on the edge, his fingers calmly splashing in the water.

"why do you never admit it when it hurts you?" changkyun mumbled, probably being the last person who had to ask such thing.

"it's easier that way." jooheon lifted his hand up, ruffling changkyun's hair with a sigh.


	5. Chapter 5

changkyun soon sat at the other end of the bathtub, joining jooheon. he felt too vulnerable, exposing all of his scars and wounds that were covering his whole body, but the warm water was making him feel relaxed. it was how he wanted to feel all the time.

"do you know what i was wondering when i was younger?" jooheon asked, looking at changkyun with a smile.

"tell me," changkyun smiled back, remembering how delusional jooheon was about many things when he was younger. things hadn't changed a lot since then.

"do your wings get heavier when they are wet? like clothes do..."

changkyun chuckled. "they do."

jooheon let out a quiet "oh". during the fifteen years he knew changkyun he wasn't really that interested in what being a guardian angel was exactly like, therefore, he didn't know a lot.

just a year or two ago he actually started actively questioning the things happening to and around changkyun. until then he was just really excited about the thought of having someone to keep him safe and look after him, taking it completely for granted.

when the water went cold, the two got out of the tub. jooheon carefully wrapped changkyun in a towel, making sure that it wasn't too tight against the places of his open wounds. (a while ago he decided to buy a bigger towel than the ones he had because he knew that changkyun was still uncomfortable in front of him.)

after taking care of changkyun, the older wrapped a towel around his waist and they went to the living room, sitting on the couch.

they were watching random things on the tv, switching through channels a lot. at some point jooheon went over to the kitchen to take beer and returned, receiving a glare from changkyun.

of course, jooheon didn't really care, or at least didn't know he had a reason to care, so he just drank in peace, still searching for something interesting to watch.

soon enough, changkyun felt his head spinning. he didn't hear much of what was happening around himself nor he could focus his gaze on anything. it was what usually happened when jooheon drank but now it was affecting him more since he was weaker.

he was sure that he had a high fever and exactly _that_ was going to be the end of him. he wasn't strong enough to fight a fever.

and jooheon, the cause of all of this, was sitting right next to him, making everything even worse.

"jooheon," changkyun weakly said, barely keeping his head up. "please, stop drinking." he rested his hand on jooheon's thigh, hinting at him to leave his bottle aside.

he had to tell him before it was too late. but just when he opened his mouth, ready to say something, he felt himself losing consciousness. he sighed, closing his eyes.

"are you okay?" jooheon left his beer somewhere on the ground, grabbing the angel by the shoulders.

changkyun let out a small, kind of mocking, laugh. "i'm sorry, jooheon," he whispered.


	6. Chapter 6

so many hours passed. changkyun was still unconscious. jooheon had wrapped two blankets around his body to keep him warm yet that didn't stop him from getting colder and colder.

" _changkyun, please..._ " jooheon whispered. he had his forehead rested against changkyun's chest.

he could feel his heartbeat and he was still breathing so he had hope that everything was going to be okay soon. it _had_ to be okay. he needed changkyun. and not only because changkyun was his angel but because he was his best friend, too. he couldn't rely on anyone as he relied on changkyun.

now that he felt like he was losing changkyun he started valuing how much care he has received from him. he had never even thought about the possibility of changkyun dying because he was basically immortal.

" _wake up_ ," his voice became shakier.

he was aware that changkyun hadn't just fainted. it was so much more serious.

he didn't know what to do. he had no idea if angel doctors existed. he didn't know about any other angels either since he couldn't see them. he could only pray.

around one more hour of waiting, he felt changkyun's hand grabbing his wrist and he jumped up a little.

"changkyun..." he said, cupping the angel's cheeks. he felt tears pooling at the edges of his eyes as he moved and pressed his forehead against changkyun's.

changkyun's lips curled upwards. he didn't open his eyes, he just enjoyed the warm feeling of jooheon's hands. they felt so good against his cold skin.

"i'm not dying yet," he quietly said with a laugh. his voice was still very weak. all of his strength had escaped his body. "but you will have to prepare for that, too."

"what do you mean?" jooheon's eyes widened.

"isn't it obvious? i dont have long left, jooheon."

"no," jooheon mouthed. "you're not going anywhere... changkyun, you can't die."

"is that a challenge?" changkyun snorted.

instead of answering, jooheon just kissed changkyun. the latter's eyes snapped wide open as their lips came in contact. it was too sudden. jooheon didn't know why but he just felt the need to do it.

changkyun wrapped his arms around jooheon's neck. he suddenly felt so alive. his one and only dream finally happened. it was like it was his last wish before he died. and now that it actually happened... he couldn't stop kissing jooheon. it was much better than he expected it would be.

"promise me you won't go anywhere." jooheon's tears were falling down on changkyun's face. "please. i need you, changkyun."

"i'm sorry jooheon..." changkyun caressed the blond's cheek gently. "but all of this is your fault."

"w-what?"

"there are so many things i haven't told you just so i didn't stop you from doing what you like." before he could say anything else, changkyun turned away and put his arm over his mouth. he started coughing and soon realized that there was blood dripping down from his mouth.

"just... don't push yourself and rest," jooheon kissed changkyun's forehead, making him rest his head on the pillow under him. he quickly found a tissue and wiped the blood off of the angel's mouth.

if he was the reason for changkyun's death then now he had to at least take care of him. he had to do it because he owed changkyun so much. and it was the most he could do at this point.

he wrapped his arms around changkyun's small torso. "i love you so much, changkyun..."


	7. Chapter 7

"changkyun!" jooheon ran to the angel, studying his face that was reflecting the blue lightning of the street lamp they were under. he grabbed the shorter's jaw gently, so he could take a closer look at all the new wounds and bruises over his face. this time they weren't there because of him. "what happened to you?"

"it's nothing," changkyun finally pulled away from jooheon's grip. his whole face was in deep wounds that were probably going to leave really bad scars if he lived long enough for them to have time to heal.

the taller pursed his lips. "changkyun... your wing is gone... you are bleeding heavily... and you're  obviously in pain... why are you lying when there's obviously something wrong?"

he didn't know the actual reason for changkyun's death yet. he only knew that it was his fault that the angel was in this condition but nothing else. because of him he was hurting and changkyun never even had the heart to tell him the complete truth.

but it seemed like it was finally time for jooheon to know more than he already did. because no matter how you looked at it, changkyun was the one who was hurt the most, not jooheon. he was the one bearing all the weight of being a shield.

"jooheon..." he took a deep breath, not daring to look the other in the eyes. "since the very beginning you know that i'm your guardian angel. but i've never told you the consequences of that. every single action of yours reflects on me and my body physically. even the tiniest one. and you are doing a lot of bad things, jooheon. i have no idea how did i manage to live this long with you around. but i couldn't just give up on you. you need a guardian angel, after all. when i die i will probably be replaced or you will simply be left with no one."

now jooheon was the one who couldn't look at changkyun. he felt uncomfortable. and even ashamed of himself. he thought about every single time he had hurt changkyun. until then he didn't even realize how much of a bad person he was.

"because of me you are left with only one wing..."

"ah, no... that's not exactly because of you... it's a sign that i _really_ don't have long left." changkyun thought for a while. "nevermind, it's because of you."

jooheon had a really hard time processing all of this. it was difficult to understand it completely.

he sighed, pulling the angel into his embrace, feeling how he was fading away.

and then he was gone, leaving jooheon all alone on the empty street with tears pooling in his eyes.

changkyun needed some time to think, that was why he just disappeared. he also wanted to give jooheon some time to think about his actions.

of course, changkyun was going to return very soon. he wasn't going to stop protecting his human half until his very last breath. he couldn't just give up on him. he loved him way too much even though he didn't deserve it.


	8. Chapter 8

changkyun was made of stardust.

it was what jooheon found out when his angel died.

changkyun spent the last week of his life in jooheon's house and jooheon never left his side, just like the angel had always been doing for him.

he wasn't showing any signs of feeling  _that_  bad and was even cheerful most of the time. but it was probably because he was with jooheon. after all, he wanted to die at home. and that's where he was.

therefore, he couldn't call his death tragic or anything similar to that. not at all. he was going to die happy, knowing jooheon was there for him the whole time.

jooheon was regularly making warm baths for changkyun and cleaning his never healing scars. he was spending extra time on making sure that changkyun's bandages were put properly.

"do i really have to be dying for you to finally take care of me?" changkyun mumbled while jooheon was changing the bandages on his legs for the third time that day.

jooheon looked up at the blue haired boy with a broken expression. "i'm sorry, baby." he grabbed changkyun's hand and pressed a soft kiss against it. "i never really appreciated what i had because i thought i'd never lose you. i thought we're going to be together forever..." tears started streaming down his cheeks. "i'm so sorry..."

he hugged changkyun, careful not to hurt him, and started sobbing against his shirt.

"i love you so much, changkyun."

"i love you, too," changkyun whispered, feeling himself also starting to cry. he pressed his lips against the top of jooheon's head, choking his tears back.

changkyun warned jooheon about his death a day earlier. he could already feel it and see it and it was making him so uneasy and anxious. he didn't want to die.

he wanted to be with jooheon forever, too. but their forever was over.

he was in jooheon's bed with his eyes closed, listening to the male play on his guitar and sing to him. it was what made him calm down.

or at least he was calm until he started crying as he was overwhelmed by memories about a certain angel that used to sing for him whenever he was sad.

jooheon immediately noticed, so he stopped. he left his guitar and cupped changkyun's cheek. "what's wrong?" he asked.

"nothing important..." changkyun felt too weak to explain. "just... hold me..."

jooheon immediately moved closer and wrapped his arms around changkyun. "i'm here," he whispered.

his heart was beating fast. he didn't want to believe that the only person he loved was dying.

and he felt it, he felt how the boy gave up fighting already. changkyun was lying in his arms, lot lighter.

"isn't there a way for you to stay?"

"i'm sorry..."

there was a way. but changkyun didn't want him to go through that. and he didn't really want to go back to life for certain reasons. it was just not worth it.

"i will miss you a lot..."


	9. Chapter 9

_i love you._

changkyun's last words.

they were still resonating in jooheon's ears even days after he died.

he couldn't sleep at night, thinking about how the angel died in his arms. he couldn't forgive himself.

he wanted to drown his sadness in alcohol yet he didn't do that because him drinking was one of the reasons changkyun died. so he was going to suffer without trying to numb the pain. he was going to fully embrace the guilt.

he found himself much more emotional with the lack of alcohol. crying every time he thought of changkyun was exhausting. feels were exhausting.

emotions were the main thing that he has always tried to avoid. then there he was now.

he was taking care of the plants at his window, thinking about how changkyun was the one in charge of that. and probably many other things. just then jooheon realized how busy changkyun was - taking care of the plants, him and himself all the time, trying to keep all three alive.

now jooheon had to take care of the plants and himself alone, wishing that he was given a second chance so he could take care of changkyun, too.

one flower had bloomed and jooheon was looking at it with a sad smile.

"changkyun would be so proud," he said out loud as if anyone could hear him.

days were just passing and he wasn't doing anything but stay at home. he was searching up some things on the internet about guardian angels. there wasn't much.

but there was this one article that was tempting him. it was just screaming at him to open it. yet jooheon thought that it was a waste of time.

**"how to revive your angel"**

changkyun said that there was no way to bring guardian angels back to life. or...

"he never actually said that, right..."

yeah. he never said it. he just apologized. then there definitely was something.

after an hour or two jooheon finally convinced himself to check the article out. he scrolled past most of it, not putting much effort into actually reading it. the moment he read something about "deal with the devil" he quickly called it bullshit and closed the page.

he went to his bedroom and took changkyun's phone from the nightstand. he had never even thought of peeking into the angel's personal things but now he had to. he had to know if changkyun communicated with anyone else and if that person could tell him anything about reviving an angel.

the first thing he did was check his messages. empty. call log - nothing but his own name. finally, he checked the angel's contacts list. there was another name besides his own and it surprised him.

whoever that was, jooheon didn't know if he could talk to him. or if he was alive. this could've been another angel or the human changkyun took care of before.

jooheon let out a loud groan. he felt frustrated and sad.

"changkyun, i miss you so much," he cried out, covering his eyes with his hands. "i wish you can at least hear me."


	10. Chapter 10

a week later jooheon finally called the person. he had been contemplating a lot. but, on the other hand, he didn't have anything important to lose anymore.

what amused him was that they picked up.

" _changkyun_ _?_ " a male's surprised voice sounded from the other side. it was seemingly someone young and  _still_  full of energy.

"hello, i'm searching for shin hoseok," jooheon was trying his best to sound composed and not give away how nervous he was. he never felt nervous, he didn't know why was he like that now.

" _yeah, that's me. and you're not changkyun, apparently_."

"changkyun is..." jooheon went silent. he didn't want to say it. he pressed his lips in a thin line, hoping that hoseok would figure it out himself. he already felt too weak to continue the conversation and just wanted to hang up. he even forgot what he called for in the first place. "... he's dead."

" _i see..._ " the other spoke after a while. his voice sounded really masculine yet soft. jooheon felt like it was the kind of voice one could listen to for hours without stopping. " _are you his human?_ "

jooheon nodded and quickly realized that the other couldn't see him. he was internally facepalming himself for being so embarrassing. "yeah."

" _oh, great, for a second i thought some other angel has found his phone and now is doing an investigation about his death_ ," hoseok let out a sigh of relief as he tried to cheer them both up a little. " _sorry, i didn't mean to say death..._ "

"it's okay..."

" _do you want to talk about this with someone?_ "

jooheon stared at his free hand. did he really want to talk about this? or most importantly, was he ready? was he really going to admit to anyone that he was the killer of his own angel? "actually, i do..."

the thing jooheon expected the least was to arrange a meeting with hoseok.

they lived in different towns but hoseok wasn't really bothered by that or at least he didn't sound like he was. he sounded like he'd rather travel the whole distance even if it was from two opposite sides of the earth than talk on the phone about it.

at least jooheon was now able to ask his questions. and include the new ones such as who was hoseok and why did he, a human, know about changkyun. as far as he knew, changkyun's previous human was dead so that was definitely not the case.

for a second he started wondering if changkyun had another human but that sounded impossible since he was barely keeping up with jooheon.

jooheon sighed. he got up and went to the bathroom to wash his face.

as he was doing so, he started wondering... if angels were on heaven already... where did they go after they died? what even happened to an angel after its death?

it was frustrating the human so much.

the world sure wasn't suited to be questioned by some simple mortals such as jooheon.

_"why are you so_ _complicated_ _, changkyun?"_


	11. Chapter 11

jooheon was sitting by the window of the café in which he had arranged to meet with hoseok. he was peacefully drinking bubble tea as he was waiting for the other male to appear. if he was going to show up at all, of course.

almost a month had passed since he had gone out of his house for more than ten minutes and for something different than going to the convenience store.

the nervousness he thought he would feel didn't even happen. he adapted to being around so many people again quite quickly.

after waiting for a bit more, a boy rushed into the café, looking as if he was in a hurry. he looked around until his gaze fell on jooheon. he made his way to the table.

"you are jooheon, right?" he asked a bit hesitantly. a big smile formed on his lips as jooheon nodded. he sat down opposite of the blond. "i'm sorry i'm late, i got lost."

"it's fine," the edges of jooheon's lips curved into a smile. "do you want tea or coffee or anything else?" jooheon asked, ready to go and order whatever the other wanted.

even though hoseok was going to tell him to stop and that he was fine as he was now, he had a feeling that jooheon was the type of person who didn't take "no" as an answer when they were offering food or drinks. also, he was quite thirsty because he was running to find the café. "tea is fine."

jooheon got up and went over to the counter, leaving hoseok to look around, studying his surroundings. he was so focused on the small details of everything that was happening around him that he didn't realize when jooheon got back on the table with his tea and he got a bit startled.

"you're quite weird, you know," jooheon remarked as he was sitting down, not really hesitant to state his first impression for hoseok.

"i get that a lot," the black haired boy giggled quietly before taking a sip from his tea. "so..." he made himself more comfortable on the chair. "how did it happen?"

"well..." jooheon fumbled with his fingers, aware of what was hoseok asking him. he wasn't really sure what to say. but then he remembered that he had to speak nothing but the truth. "it's actually my fault."

hoseok raised his eyebrows. "what do you mean your fault?"

"well, he never really told me what were the things that hurt him. every time he had new bruises or wounds he'd just say that it's normal but didn't tell me they're caused by the things i've done... and, apparently, i've done way too much..." the younger pressed his lips in a thin line.

"i don't understand," hoseok was still sitting with his eyebrows raised and mouth agape. "he's always told me that you're the nicest human he's ever had, he can't have lied to me..." jooheon just shook his head guiltily. "i can't believe this," hoseok groaned.

"how do you know changkyun, though?"

"i-it's a long story." all of a sudden hoseok looked uneasy and even lost of words.

"i have time."


	12. Chapter 12

hoseok didn't want to answer jooheon's question when there were so many people around and he excused himself about it. jooheon understood him.

after they were done, they went out and jooheon lead hoseok to a park where he thought hoseok would feel more comfortable since there weren't many people yet. they sat on a field that had flowers here and there.

hoseok lied back on the ground, feeling longer strands of grass tickling his skin. he took a small flower that had happened to be in-between his fingers and looked at it. "what do you know about reviving angels?" he asked while spinning the flower.

"nothing..." jooheon shrugged after thinking for a while. he didn't want to mention anything about that one article because he still didn't believe what he read was true. "that was what i called for, actually. i wanted to ask you if it's possible."

"well, it is possible." hoseok dropped the flower aside and gazed at the sky, not saying anything for a while. "but not exactly. they are revived as humans." he let out a prolonged sigh. "i was an angel before. my human brought me back to life but died soon after."

jooheon lied down next to hoseok, crossing his arms as he also looked up. "if i bring changkyun back he's going to be human," he thought out loud. the older hummed. "can't you revive your human?"

hoseok clicked his tongue. "angels can be revived, humans can't, demons never die. that's how things are." he closed his eyes.

"how did you die?"

"okay, listen, that's a funny story," hoseok sat up once again, seeming really cheerful once again. jooheon only glanced at him without getting up.

"you already know that alcohol is bad for humans and everything that's bad affects angels, right?" jooheon nodded, feeling like he was only rubbing salt into the wound. "well, if angels drink alcohol it doesn't  _only_  affect them, it kills them because it's basically a poison. and i was really sleepy and exhausted of doing errands and didn't see what bottle i grabbed and i basically killed myself," he let out a chuckle. "i was in my human's apartment, she had a boyfriend who drinks every now and then, therefore there was alcohol... right next to the juice."

he had probably learned how to look at the funny side of that, jooheon thought. but it was as if he wasn't brave enough to speak about his human.

as hoseok kept on talking his smile was gradually disappearing.

"i was so happy when i saw her again, i couldn't believe a human would love me enough to bring me back to life." he rubbed his eyes with the backs of his hands. "i miss her so much."

he lied down again, turning to jooheon. he was looking at him and didn't say anything else. he felt sorry for jooheon, just thinking about what he had to go through to bring his angel back.

he wanted to stop him or to at least warn him about absolutely everything.

he was also worried. what if jooheon also died? it would've made the whole reviving process a waste of time.

"would changkyun hate me if i force him to live his life as a human?"

"a lot."

"is it really that bad?"

"worse than you can imagine... but i'm sure that he will forgive you just because he loves you so much."

jooheon's anxiety kicked in really fast. what if changkyun stopped loving him?


	13. Chapter 13

_i want him back but i don't want him to start hating me._

jooheon had never felt more conflicted than he currently did.

hoseok was staying over at his house so he couldn't really let a lot of emotions out of himself and had to find a way to not do it. or he actually knew that he couldn't suppress his emotions but should at least make sure to keep it more low key.

he was spending a lot of time thinking that at some points he didn't even hear when hoseok was talking to him.

"jooheon," hoseok tried bringing his attention.

jooheon was just staring at his own hands, completely unresponsive.

"jooheon!" hoseok tapped his shoulder.

the younger got startled. he looked up with a really dumbfounded expression. "what?" he asked quietly, moving away from hoseok a little. he felt  _so_  uncomfortable.

"did you hear anything of what i told you?" hoseok raised an eyebrow, looking really concerned for jooheon. the latter only shook his head. "i've been talking for more than ten minutes..."

"i'm really sorry," jooheon murmured. he brought his hands to his face, covering it with them. he let out a frustrated sigh.

he jumped up a bit as he felt a hand situating on his shoulder. it was hoseok's way of telling him that everything was okay, that he wasn't mad at him. he understood him so well and stayed close to him. jooheon eventually relaxed under the dark haired boy's touch.

"please, just tell me how to bring him back," the blond cried out, apparently not able to keep calm about anything anymore. "even if he ends up hating me, i just want him to be around, i want to be aware of his presence not just hope that he's somewhere there."

"i will help you," hoseok whispered. he wrapped his arm around jooheon's shoulders, letting him rest his head against his chest.

jooheon struggled a bit at first but hoseok did all of that by instinct and soon enough the younger felt comfortable again. after all, hoseok was born to protect people and make them feel better by offering comfort.

even though he wasn't an angel anymore and couldn't do as much as he did before that didn't mean that he didn't keep his habits with himself. he actually really held onto them.

"but i have to warn you about absolutely everything that's going to happen," hoseok spoke again. "because once you've started this you can't give up at any point. you could die, he could die again not long after he's been revived, everything could happen and you have to be prepared."

it scared jooheon so much, just thinking about changkyun dying again. but it wasn't like he could lie to himself that everything must go well. he had to be realistic and accept the facts. he just nodded his head for hoseok to keep talking.

"after an angel is revived as a human they don't have a guardian angel of their own. they have a demon." hoseok was speaking slowly, hoping that jooheon understood completely everything he was saying. "the demon chooses their human, not the other way around. it can't happen randomly either like it happens with guardian angels. anyways, once you've gotten yourself into that, you have to make a deal with a demon - you lose something in order for your angel to live. it's something small most times but it also depends on how your angel died... and the fact that you killed him won't help you at all."

"wait, i read something about deals with demons," jooheon looked up at hoseok. "but i didn't believe it."

"apparently, it's time to believe."

 


	14. Chapter 14

jooheon was left to think during the night. he had already made his final decision but there was still time to reconsider.

of course, he wasn't going to do that. yet hoseok told him that it would be better if he gave it more thought, not just say that he was ready to do it right away.

also, hoseok wanted to sleep, so he partly used everything else as an excuse. he had stolen a few pillows from jooheon's room and snuggled up into them on the couch in the living room and fell asleep almost immediately.

jooheon only went there to cover him with a blanket, then went to grab something to eat and went back to his room.

he sat on his bed, lifting his laptop up from the ground next to the bed where it usually was when he didn't use it. he opened it and realized that he didn't have anything to do. or at least didn't know what to.

he was bored. if changkyun was around he wasn't going to be bored. he loved talking with changkyun and missed doing it.

what he missed the most was probably them two having warm bubble baths and just relaxing. he couldn't wait for that to happen again. if it was going to happen at all.

most times after getting out of the bath changkyun would complain how he needed a hairdryer because his wings were soaked. jooheon would just make him lie down on the bed so he could dry them, making sure that all of them were in place and completely dried. it was fun.

he started thinking about how it would probably be kind of weird to see him without his wings. but he also imagined what would seeing him again would be like.

he wanted to hug him so much. and he wanted to kiss him, too. just the memory of his lips was making his knees weak.

he would never actually admit it to changkyun or to literally anyone else but he had wanted to kiss him for years. he felt like it was his last chance when changkyun told him that he was dying.

he felt tears slowly running down his cheeks. he tried wiping them away but more and more followed. he guessed that he had to roll with it, he was going to cry for a while. no one was going to see him anyways.

or at least no one saw him for the next few minutes until hoseok opened the door, peeking inside to see if jooheon was awake. when he noticed that jooheon was crying, he mumbled an "i'm really sorry" before quickly closing the door and heading back to the living room, feeling like he fucked up so bad.

jooheon quickly wiped his tears away on his sleeve and rushed out of the room, cheeks still puffy and red. he followed hoseok and stopped him. "what's wrong?" he asked, resting his hand on hoseok's shoulder.

"shouldn't i be the one asking you that?" jooheon pressed his lips in a thin line. "i just woke up and felt hungry, it doesn't matter. i'm sorry for bothering you."

"let's get you something to eat," jooheon moved his hand on hoseok's back, leading him to the kitchen.


	15. Chapter 15

hoseok was leading jooheon to some place he apparently knew the direction for without getting lost. it was a first since until then jooheon was the one to walk him around.

they hadn't really said anything to each other since last night. hoseok still felt awkward for walking in on jooheon crying and didn't know what to tell him.

"hey," jooheon spoke first, too bored by the silence. hoseok looked up at him. "are demons invisible for others just like the angels are?"

hoseok let out a soft giggle as he pulled his scarf down a bit so he could talk without his voice being muffled. "you can see all of them. most even live around humans and they're the type of people that try to ruin your life just for fun. but demons like mine and the one we are going to meet now are higher in the hierarchy and they rarely go out of their own place."

"their own place," jooheon repeated, feeling like hoseok was explaining it with more words because he thought he was more or less stupid.

"hell." jooheon hummed. "it's just that they're more important and don't really want to hang around humans. they're "too cool" for that."

"how important is yours?"

hoseok looked around, wondering if he should just tell him. jooheon might get scared for all he knew. at least changkyun got scared when he found out. "the most important."

jooheon let out a gasp. "satan?" hoseok nodded. "what do you even have to do to achieve that?"

"well, he tried hitting on me while i was an angel but i had no idea who he is so i cut him off," hoseok shrugged. "then when he found out i was being revived he hurried to reserve me for himself and just then i found out what i was dealing with."

he started giggling. jooheon followed him soon after because he found his laugh contagious.

"how do you get lost anywhere else but now you perfectly know where to go?" jooheon just had too many questions.

"i've gone here a lot of times before. one of my humans lived in this part of the town."

"sorry..."

"nah, it's fine. every human dies eventually, there's nothing we could do."

they continued walking a few more kilometers. soon, they finally reached a tall building.

jooheon only knew of it as a place that had a crazy amount of offices inside because the organization was on the news once. he didn't really remember what exactly happened he just saw a lot of rooms.

also, there were so many windows on all sides of the building, it was bothering him a bit.

"are you okay with elevators?" hoseok suddenly asked.

"yeah, why?"

"we have to get to the top floor and they usually break down a lot  at random times and just stop for a few hours."

"suddenly, i'm really not okay with elevators."

hoseok chuckled as he patted jooheon on the back. "don't worry, at least we will be stuck together."

"that's not calming me down a lot."


	16. Chapter 16

as jooheon walked into the office, the first thing he noticed was that it was really huge. the furniture looked really expensive.

when he noticed the figure sitting behind the desk and their deadly glare, he felt chills down his spine and a really strong feeling that he didn't want to have anything with demons ever again. the male, whose name was yoo kihyun (as the little sign on his desk said), looked much smaller than jooheon but he was also threatening. (not just because he was a demon.)

suddenly, jooheon wished that he actually got stuck on that elevator so he had more time to mentally prepare. when hoseok said that kihyun was something like satan's secretary he thought that he would look really stuck up like the human office workers or something like that. it was probably not like that with demons, though.

"sit," the demon said, seemingly not having any time to waste. jooheon did as he was ordered to. "so what was i called here for?"

"i want to revive my angel," jooheon said a bit nervously. he felt how his palms were starting to sweat.

"is that so?" kihyun bent under the desk to take out documents from the cupboard on his left. he dropped them off on the desk and shot jooheon another glare. "what's your name?"

"lee jooheon."

kihyun let out a prolonged hum as he started going through the many sheets of documents. he was thinking how some day he should order them alphabetically so it was easier for him when he had to deal with people's bullshit. or at least he could make someone else do it for him. he had more important work than ordering papers.

it seemed like he was having difficulties finding jooheon. he bent down again to take out another smaller stack of papers, going though it, too. "i should really consider being organized as an option," he muttered under his breath.

with frustration, he dropped the sheet he was holding and patted the desk with his hands. "nevermind that, i will search for you later. who do you want to revive?"

"lim changkyun."

kihyun's eyes widened. suddenly, he started going through the papers again, this time frantically.

if there was a report about changkyun's death he would be the first to know, he can't have missed such a thing. at least that was what he was telling himself but the facts were telling otherwise.

he felt helpless. he couldn't look at the human in front of himself. "you can leave now," he muttered out as he felt an urge to kill jooheon. but it wasn't worth it. if changkyun was alive, he was never going to approve of such thing and it stopped kihyun.

of all the angels it just had to be changkyun. the only angel kihyun still valued. apparently, not angel anymore. he couldn't believe that someone would do such thing to him.

"i will call you soon," he let out before jooheon nodded.

as jooheon was heading to the door, hoseok opened it and looked inside. he grinned at kihyun and waved at him. "tell hyungwon i said hi!" he said cheerfully. he was pulled outside by jooheon right after.

when kihyun was left alone, he brought his hands to his face, thinking what to do. wondering if he should take changkyun as his own human.


	17. Chapter 17

"what did he tell you?" hoseok asked as the two were in the elevator, on their way to go out of the building.

jooheon shrugged. "he got really angry about something and just told me he will call me. so coming here was basically a waste of time."

hoseok let out a suppressed giggle. "no wonder he got angry."

"what do you mean?"

just when hoseok was about to open his mouth and tell him, a loud bang was heard. jooheon screeched as he felt the elevator stop suddenly and it went dark in the, actually not so small, cabin. somehow, hoseok managed to remain calm even though he also got really scared and he felt his heart race.

"we stopped!" he announced with a really cheerful tone as if that was the most normal thing to happen.

technically, it really was normal already because it happened to often. after all, they were in a building mainly inhibited by demons. malfunctions were normal.

"why do you sound so happy about it?!" jooheon yelled.

"i can assure you i'm really scared!" he looked around as if he was going to see anything in the dark. when he searched around with his arms, he didn't find jooheon. "where are you?"

"here?"

"where?!"

"i don't know!"

jooheon clumsily fished his phone out of his pocket. he unlocked it and the bright lightning immediately reflected on their faces. hoseok smiled at jooheon innocently.

"next time we're taking the stairs," jooheon muttered.

since they had nothing better to do, they sat on the ground, keeping the phone on so there was some kind of a light source.

"so what were you going to tell me about kihyun?" jooheon asked as soon as he remembered about their previous conversation.

"he was changkyun's boyfriend," hoseok quietly said.

jooheon's jaw dropped. "is it okay for demons to date angels?"

"he wasn't a demon before. just like every other demon." hoseok yawned as he rested his head on jooheon's shoulder.

"before, there was a first generation of demons but then they just disappeared and no one ever saw them again. it was peaceful for a while after them but then hyungwon, my demon, decided he didn't like living like an angel and started rioting so that's how he became the first demon of the second generation. it's weird... but i think changkyun should tell you what happened with him and kihyun. all i can tell you is that you're connected to their break up and that it happened around five years ago."

jooheon let out a sigh. he started sulking at the thought that changkyun never told him anything. he didn't tell him the reason for his wounds, didn't tell him about his boyfriend and it only made jooheon wonder what else did he hide from him.

he definitely didn't want to wait anymore. he just wanted things to happen right away. he wanted to see changkyun again, to apologize for everything he did to him, for being stupid enough to never find out why was he hurt.

he started tearing up. hoseok realized after he heard a quiet sob. he immediately wrapped his arms around jooheon.

"everything is going to be okay," he whispered. "you two will be together again soon."

"what if that doesn't happen?"

"it will. i promise."


	18. Chapter 18

"we've been sitting here for more than an hour," jooheon groaned after checking the time on his phone. he looked down at hoseok, who was snuggled into him, looking as if he was going to fall asleep any moment.

the older only hummed quietly. he closed his eyes and positioned himself better. "we're going to die here," he murmured with his usual cheerful voice. he sounded too sleepy to be joking.

jooheon felt quite uncomfortable but it seemed like hoseok didn't care a lot. it was just that jooheon was used to being clingy with no one else but changkyun. he still didn't know hoseok  _that_  well to be comfortable when being close with him.

"tell me about hyungwon," jooheon suddenly said, not really wanting to be found with someone sleeping on top of him when the elevator gets fixed.  _if_  it gets fixed, of course. he had to find a way to keep hoseok awake.

"well," hoseok sleepily started, "he's really nice sometimes. not the best but still nice. or i just think he's nice because i like him," his voice went lot quieter the last sentence. "i have no idea. he used to be really harsh before, he never cared if i was okay with the things he did. but he's softened up a bit now." a wide smile was curving on his lips as he was talking. "i got so scared when i decided to dig out some information about him. he looked so threatening and intimidating."

"so... first you were scared and now you're in love with him, huh?"

"i guess..."

no matter how strange it sounded, hoseok liked the way hyungwon was treating him. just the fact that hyungwon spent so much time and even made effort to pay more attention to hoseok made him feel so special.

"sometimes i'm trying to find the angel in him and i get really convinced that it shows from time to time but in other occasions i just knows he's destroyed that self of his completely."

"i guess that it's just your nature to try finding the good in others," jooheon shrugged.

"that must be it," hoseok clicked his fingers as if he had just discovered the reason for it.

"can't believe you're such a softie."

not long after he said that, his phone started ringing. it was an unknown number. he just guessed it was kihyun because the number looked a bit familiar. and it really was him.

"come back to my office, if you don't have any work," kihyun said.

"well, i mean," jooheon scratched the back of his head awkwardly, "i don't really have any work except being stuck on that damn elevator of yours."

the demon let out a sigh. "i will call people to fix it."

"sure."

kihyun hung up. the two boys in the elevator really didn't wait for long until they were freed from the trap.

they took the stairs to kihyun's office. hoseok offered going in with jooheon. he didn't trust kihyun enough to let the two of them alone.


	19. Chapter 19

kihyun was slowly and carefully going through changkyun's death report while hoseok and jooheon were sitting at the other side of the desk, the office full of tension.

hoseok wasn't as tense as jooheon, though. not at all, actually. he didn't even feel the said tense atmosphere that was surrounding them, he was  _that_  chill. also, he was used to kihyun already so there was nothing he should be bothered by.

jooheon was sitting beside him, fumbling with his fingers nervously and as always thinking about changkyun. about him coming back, more specifically.

"i don't even know how can you be so brave to come here," kihyun muttered, looking up at jooheon, whose attention was immediately brought. "you can't just kill someone and then suddenly wish they were alive. don't you have at least a bit of shame? if i was you, i wouldn't even dare to come close to this place."

"it wasn't on purpose!" jooheon tried defending himself, lifting himself up from the chair a little.

"yeah, yeah," the demon made a little hand gesture, making jooheon sit down again. "apparently, you weren't smart enough to notice why was your angel dying. but it isn't like you got any smarter after finding out. what a waste of oxygen, really."

he usually wasn't like that. he never judged people for the choices they made simply because he didn't care about humans.

but never in his life had he thought that one day he will have to revive his ex. and especially because the one that made him start disliking humans so much had killed him.

humans were taking everything from him. he had lost everything he loved because of humans. every time a human of his died when he was an angel, his heart broke a little. the only happiness he had left was changkyun. yet jooheon took that away from him without even knowing. then there was hoseok who managed to win hyungwon's heart better than kihyun could ever do. all of that made him wish that he was cold-hearted.

"can't you act more professional and just get on with it?" hoseok asked with his arms crossed. he definitely didn't mean it in a rude way. he just had a really bad feeling that something was going to happen if they didn't move on any time soon.

"right," kihyun sat up straight. "he's coming to this world basically as no one since no one knows who he is except you and, apparently, hoseok. he will need a birth certificate, id card and literally every other kind of document one needs. you will have to go to the floor below and go to the number of office i give you. understood?"

jooheon nodded, thinking about how devoted to his work kihyun was. the truth was that kihyun was doing it only because he wanted to impress hyungwon and make him see that he really is worth something.

now he was also dedicated to make everything go the way it should so changkyun survived through the reviving process.


End file.
